A Beautiful Exchange
Posted on April 8, 2014
When I became a Christian, I developed an understanding of the Cross as central to my faith. From the moment I was baptized, almost three years ago, I resolved in my heart that I would keep the importance of the Cross and everything it represents at the forefront of my life. The Cross would inoculate my desire to fall into self-centered-ness and pride. This was a noble and ambitious endeavor; one that I, unfortunately, failed at miserably. All too often I’ve become consumed in myself i.e. my wants and personal ambitions. It’s in this space my view of Jesus becomes blurred and His voice is drowned out by my own.
If I’m being honest (because honesty is strongly encouraged around here) I hadn’t thought much about Lent this year. My heart just wasn’t into it. I also hadn’t been talking to God like usual, though I’ve been making more of an effort to hear His voice in moments of deep meditation. Still, I couldn’t find words for Him.
This is a part of the Christian life I believe many of us are afraid to share out of fear we would be thought of as frauds. But, it’s the place I’ve been in with God. It’s been dry and unromantic, like in marriage when two lovers have fallen into peculiar familiarity and the shininess of marital bliss begins to wear. God and I sat, for many days–weeks even, stonewalled in quiet-stillness. I held back; too afraid to be anymore vulnerable lest He become tired of my neediness. And He waited for me to give over my heart–all of my heart. It was a stiff tango we danced. I was fearful this would be it for God and me: the uncomfortable silence, the scathing uncertainty, and the restless hope.Yet, like any good lover, God presented a peace offering in a way that only one who truly knows someone’s heart could. He sang a song.
When I first heard Hillsong’s “Beautiful Exchange” I began feeling the numbness of my heart slowly fade away. The picture of the Cross that was once marred by unanswered prayers and disappointments crystallized once again. As I tuned my ears to not only hear the music but also focus on the words, I let the tears roll down my face. I knew God and I weren’t quite out of the woods, but I was letting down my guard and that was a good place for us to start over.
My hope is that as you listen to the video just below (It’s right there. Click play.) you will find yourself enveloped in the Love of the Lord and that you’ll give Him your hand and dance.
Now it’s your turn: As we approach Holy Week and Easter, I want to know what does the Cross mean to you?
Tell me in the comments section below. And if you’re feeling trigger happy, share this post by clicking the sharing buttons right down there (yes, there).